Our story

Here is the original timeline, in its original wording. Anything not from the original timeline created in June will be written in this blue font.

It's easy to forget the small details when you're so incredibly focused on making new memories every day. However, I think there will come a day where our time is best spent sitting on a porch swing to hold hands, lean on one another, and reminiscing on the days of early infatuation. You are worth documenting, Juli. Even though we're only a bit in and I can remember nearly every detail of our relationship, I hope to make so many memories that my memory overloads and I have to come back here to laugh and smile and enjoy the warmth of knowing I have you. You are my creek and the sun that sets upon it. You are worth learning, my pretty girl.

-Colsen, Old King Cole, Dork, Coleslaw, Col-Baby, Darling (Sarcastically of course), Silly Silly Gray Duck

Jan 31, 2026

Some idiot wakes up at 2:30 PM after getting back from a concert at 7 AM the night before. Walking into his OWN KITCHEN, he is ambushed by two women making pretzels (see Figure A).

Said idiot watches these two women + Cade (arguably a third woman) make pretzels with two types of seasoning. Said idiot reveals identity as fat idiot. Said idiot also reveals identity as clueless idiot by revealing past details of love life. Somehow, first impression does not scare the cutie in a blue hoodie and brown pants away. The big FC (French Chloe) uses her prophetic powers to take a much-appreciated picture of this first meeting.

Interesting Sidenotes about Event

The idiot in question actually had some... very interesting thoughts after this event. I didn't think ANYTHING romantic. In fact, I didn't even consider it. What I did think, however, was "she seems really cool. I hope I get the opportunity to be friends with her." This immediate thought eventually turned into a rather lengthy period of denial where I was telling anyone that asked that I merely had a "friendship crush" because you seemed very fun to be around. I wanted to know if it was anything more, but it took you until Spring Break to take me up on my Taco Bell offer... maybe you could've had more time with me if you would've taken some initiative earlier 😉 

Oh well... it all worked out amazingly either way :)

Feb 1, 2026 Sidenotes

This was actually one of my favorite memories for so many reasons. I have never had someone look as disgusted at me as Annie looked when I tried sitting down diagonal from her in the cafe -- it felt like I was trying to sit with a high school clique that I wasn't a part of. Chloe sat across from me and I, on attempt #3, finally had a normal interaction with her (shirtless in the Village Lobby and Jan 30 don't exactly constitute as normal). You were quite far away from me at this table, which was fine -- notably this would be the last time that I wouldn't be sad that you were far away at a table... something to be said about that.

Bolded Sidenote!! The reason this is one of my favorite memories is because it made me realize how much each of us enjoyed just talking to each other. When you went into the kitchen to tell Chloe you were thinking about leaving, I offered to drive Annie and Julia back to campus if you wanted to head out for the night. You responded by telling me that you might take me up on that offer, then almost immediately sat on the opposite side of the couch I was on. Instead of leaving anytime soon, you stayed for over an hour while I told stories about my time working at Culver's. I remember getting genuinely upset at the other two girls for being there because I just wanted to talk to you. I remember you staying for the entire time I talked despite the offer I made to you. I remember getting up to check on the brownies and you getting up to leave no more than 30 seconds after I stopped talking to you. I remember wanting to be with you again. I remember thinking that would be my last chance, because after all, I didn't really know you...

Feb 3, 2026

Woah, woah. What happened on the 3rd of February? Nothing as far as I remember, right? Wrong. Some cute girl who I thought would barely remember me came up to me in the cafe after she finished eating just to say hi and talk for a few minutes. That meant more to me and stayed longer with me than you'd imagine.

Feb 3, 2026 Sidenotes

I don't feel a strong need to mention it in-depth, but this actually happened two days in a row and you came up to me the day after while in Freshens lobby as well. I remember being so happy that it was possible to just run into you and that you wanted to come talk to me. What a dork I was... good thing I'm not anymore, right?

Feb 5, 2026

I literally finished a test as fast as physically possible just so I could get to the coffee shop before you left. I did not care about anything or anyone else. When you told me that you were going to the Festival of Keys and that I could come with you if I wanted to, I wanted to immediately cancel my plans for the concert in Greenville and agree to go with you. I was hoping that was plans for just me and you.

Feb 5, 2026 Sidenotes

My car had no front bumper from an accident two days before. I had a test that morning that I was not prepared for and somehow got a 90 on despite finishing in about 17 minutes (75 minute class btw). I went to the upstairs of the Common House, saw the two of you, and immediately knew I wasn't getting a thing done if it meant I could talk to you. Maybe I'm weak.

Feb 8, 2026

On Feb 7, I was in Columbia at a Sam Barber concert. My friend AK's little sister was asking about you because I was talking about a little crush I had... and I didn't even have a photo. Right before I left the afternoon of the 8th, Cade sent a photo of the two of you eating crème brûlée. I was sent it in the "Je Suis" groupchat, which I had just been added to. I remember that my top priority all of a sudden was adding your contact from that group and putting the cropped photo of you as your photo. 

Feb 8 was also Super Bowl Sunday. Whether or not I crossed the halfway point of the couch isn't really debatable... you just kept leaning closer and closer to me. Gosh, make a move already...

I got sick the day after this. I think if I were actually intruding your space, like you claim, you would've had a fever too. Checkmate.

F

Feb 8, 2026 Sidenotes

I wanted to put my arm around you so badly. I wanted you to lean into me. I wanted to shift over on the couch and give you someone to be up against. I wanted to be with you.

If that makes me biased and therefore untrustable on the view of whether or not I was intruding your space, then so be it. I got to spend the day with you and I was so happy about that. 

So many people in our townhome.  I was supposed to make pigs in a blanket for everyone, but time ran short and I decided against it. I guess my midwestern charm was meant exclusively for you. There's a part of me that thinks if there were less people, I may have done what Lemmon thought I should've done (see Mar 6).

That fever sucked. I was so nervous I wouldn't be healthy in time for the photoshoot. I just wanted to see you, I wasn't even thinking about the banquet.

Feb 9, 2026

I texted you I had a Taco Bell gift card and that I'd use it for the two of us if you ever wanted to go and were "mentally prepared." Took you way too long...

Feb 9, 2026 Sidenotes

I'm just glad you decided to ask me to go eventually. I think all the timing worked out perfectly :)

Feb 13, 2026

Valentine's banquet was actually so fun. I had a crush who had curled her hair, was excited to see me, and was in the most beautiful red and pink dress. I remember Cade talking to you in the hallway and you jumping up and down to show off how fun the frilly layers of your dress were. I remember being so nervous to come up and talk to you, waiting so long before I made my way over with a pitcher of water.

This day was also lowkey torturous. When I first went over, someone mentioned that I had been sick and Grace looked over at me like I was the devil incarnate for serving you after I had been sick earlier in the week. When Brian John went up and did his Rubik's cube routine, your table volunteered you and you were fascinated. I was such a jealous man, more than ever on that day.

Feb 14, 2026

Valentine's Day. Earlier in the week, during a Plato's Closet visit, Chloe's purple dress inspired an impromptu Valentine's Day faux double date dinner and photoshoot. When this night came, everything was so obvious to me. You would stay behind with me whenever you could, we would talk about our lives and our families, you would run your hands through my hair when you got the opportunity during photos, and I was nervously trying to reciprocate any amount of it while being incredibly nervous in front of the girl I was crushing on. You kept the Polaroid from this night for months, apparently. If I had one, it would have stayed in my wallet too. The Polaroid I have of you still stays in front and I get to show it to anyone who asks about you. Throughout this summer, I've loved doing that. Any old friends, family, heck even someone who tries to flirt, and BAM! There's my girlfriend, Juli. I love that photo from Greenville. I hope I can always make you smile that way. 

Feb 14, 2026 Sidenotes

I spent weeks after this day showing these photos and telling the story of this night to anyone who would lend even half an ear to listening. Aside from religious transformation, this was the highlight of my entire college experience up to this point. From this day until the end of the year, I was riding on Cloud 9. 

Also, we (Cade and I) ran into Brian John at the end of the Festival of Keys and we told him that we were going on a faux double date for Valentine's Day. When he asked who, I kinda preteneded not to hear him because I was extremely jealous and overprotective.

This note is written on September 14. If there's one things I have to thank you for secularly, it's how I've been able to handle my jealousy. Over time, your comments bothered me less and less. Aside from the once where I was both tired, work-ridden, and already in a poor mood where I got incredibly angry at your comments in a strangely-themed Shark Tales conversation, my jealousy continued to improve. There were times over the end of the summer where you would make some joke about a Latin lover, or something in the vein of alternative attraction, and I would think it as funny. You would retract it and say "wait I have to be more careful about jokes like that" and I would realize that I had such a security in your loyalty that it didn't bother me anymore. There's probably still areas of my life where I am jealous, but my self-identity in a relationship is shaped very differently now.

Also notably, my opinion on dependency has shifted. I started really liking how often we would text and call, despite the fact that I hated distance. It broke my heart when you stopped calling me during my 4 PM open window, because I really enjoyed you becoming more of a constant part of my life. I made fun of you a lot for 'dependency,' and while I still think that's maybe not the greatest word to fit the situation, I wanted you around a lot more than my fun-poking would suggest. 

March 6, 2026

I ran into Lemmon and Thompson by Lemmon's van, right before Spring Break. After a very fun 20 minute conversation, the two of them started exchanging subtle glances. I made a joke about how I didn't have a use for any of the moves where you hit your arm onto someone else's shoulder, and Lemmon said something along the lines of "when my roommate was on your couch" before refusing to repeat herself, laughing, and moving on. 

March 9, 2026

On my 21st birthday, two important things happened. The lesser of the two events being my birthday, and the greater being you finally picking up on my offer for Taco Bell. This is also when we started really texting over Spring Break, which I greatly enjoyed.

March 20, 2026

Taco Bell! The two of us got to enjoy a meal together and talk for a couple hours, and I enjoyed the time with you so much that I knew I was going to ask you out. I was already ~99.9% sure going into this time, but the conversation was so positive and neither of us seemed to want to go.

March 21, 2026

I ran into you in the cafe early in the afternoon, around 11. I asked if you knew anyone that might be down to do a group hiking adventure and you told me that you were all going to the lake together. I ended up going to Table Rock by myself, attempting to bring a guitar (although it was ruined by the rain) and you had a girls' day at the lake. We met up at the dance concert at 6, got to watch a fun show, and talked outside with Annie for about an hour and a half until we had an excuse to leave because Julia needed to be picked up from Pratt and dropped off at my townhome. When we got to the townhome, I didn't want you to leave, so I pulled out my heart-shaped diffraction glasses and showed you the lights in the Townhomes of them. I was having such a wonderful time with you and, looking for a method of extending said wonderful time, I took you to downtown Anderson where the Christmas lights were all still up. You were the first person to ever make the lights dance. If you had looked in my eyes, I think you would've seen the brightest light of all. I knew that being with you was an opportunity I wasn't going to miss out on, and that I couldn't wait much longer. I had a plan, and the plan was to ask you out Monday. In the meantime, we drove around this Saturday night for literally hours until I dropped you off around 12:30 to get ready for the early-morning Renewal Service. I still remember you groaning about how you wish you could stay later, but that Chloe needed a ride to the early service so she could work the front desk of the Student Center. I remember being happy to drop you off, knowing that I'd see you again and knowing that I was doing the right thing.

March 23, 2026

Walking away from the student center with Cade, Ben, and Julia, I saw you walking the other way. You were coming from the Lot Project and were late for dinner, so you were grabbing Chik-Fil-A to save a meal swipe. I immediately turned around to walk with you, went through the line with you, and walked back to your car while we talked for over an hour. The only thing that took either of us away was your need to do homework and my attendance at Praise & Pancakes. I wanted to ask you out right then and there, but I hesitated. I was nervous. I was so excited to have you that I wanted everything to be perfect, so I waited.

March 24, 2026

I didn't wait for long, though. After RUF the next day, I walked out with you to your car again. We talked for over an hour, and right before you left, I asked you a few questions.

C: "Hey, I know you're pretty busy with the Honors Banquet; realistically, how busy are you with that?

J: "I'm pretty busy, but I have a little bit of free time.. I have to make sure I get all my homework done though."

C: "Okay.. Are you free sometime this weekend?"

J: "Probably.. :)"

C: "Would you like to be?"

J: "I think so!"

C: "Juli, would you like to go on a date with me?"

J: "I would love to go on a date with you, Colsen"

I walked to the library after this interaction and ran into Cade and Julia. I tried to play it cool like I was studying, but I couldn't stop smiling. I was grinning from ear to ear like a kid who won a carnival game and I couldn't hide it even if I wanted to.

March 25, 2026

Snickerdoodle cookies baking night. You called me to ask me if you could come over and bake with me. I was beyond joyous to receive that call. 

March 26, 2026

One day before the date, your entire family was there. What genius act do I decide? Yeah, let's bring a bouquet of paper tulips to your choir concert in front of your family who has never heard of me. That's the way to do it, surely. 

March 25, 2026 Sidenotes

I was sitting in the back of that church for the concert holding onto those poorly-constructed flowers for dear life. I'm glad that I learned to make them a lot better than those, but you seem to have taken it upon yourself to make sure they stay together anyways..

March 27, 2026

First date! Greenville, Buffalo Zingers, Trolley Problem, our former psychology-major waitress telling us we looked cute... I could write genuine pages about this night. I choose not to. I choose to remember how nervous I was to grab your hand, how you held onto me for warmth, and how you asked for more time with me even as you lay asleep in the passenger seat of my car as I massaged my finger up and down against your arm. I knew then that you were my comfort. 

April 3, 2026

Quinoa bowls, a double date, the Watkins roof at night after the Lego Ninjago movie. For these dates, I prefer to let the memories speak. With your head on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around your side, I like to think the moon will always look like it did that night. 

April 4, 2026

The beach. Troy, South Carolina. A picnic, a piggyback ride, a kiss on the cheek on a country road, the most beautiful night sky. Lemon bars and the consequences of cutting them near a man in love. I hope every day I'm with you, I get to kiss you in a way that makes you melt just like you did right then and there, so that your whole body goes warm and you just want to lean into me. I hope the memory of this night doesn't need a description either, just the photo of you blushing that Lemmon sent me directly after.

April 6, 2026

Some mysterious origami artist started leaving paper flowers on the door handle of your car...

April 10, 2026

This is both a good memory and perhaps a damaging one. I've chosen to write this on September 14, adding it to the intitial timeline. This was the first time I took you up to the roof of the TJMaxx, shortly after you sang at the President's Gala. I kissed you in every way but the lips, and I should've known then and there we would be irresistibile to each other. Maybe I did and still decided to proceed without enough caution. I carry this as a fond memory, one where we maintained boundaries and one where we grew in conversation and attraction, but I also believe that this may have contributed eventually to your doubt. I wish you know that I would've valued us just as much even if I couldn't lay my lips on you. Maybe it's far too late to ever explain that now.

April 11, 2026

Thompy and Lemmon Casa Fuentes double date! I don't have much to write about this, but it's worth a mention. It was a very fun time and I thought that this might become a recurring trend. Still yet to.. we will see!

April 14, 2026

I chose for this to be simple at the time, and it was beyond worth it. This was the day where you officially became my girlfriend and I gained the privilege of being your boyfriend. Relational commitment was such a beautiful obligation and privilege to be a part of and I enjoy every part of being yours. After RUF one day, we even waited to kiss because we knew we wouldn't want to stop.

April 15, 2026

And we were right... at the Lake Hartwell Recreational Dock area, we found ourselves a little spot where we could talk and hold each other and kiss and live in these little lives we had created with each other. You talked to my mom and I introduced you as my girlfriend. I talk to my mom a lot about you, and everytime I do, she can hear in my voice how special you are. 

April 24, 2026

Flat tire... ironic timing given the J. Nelly shpiel about men knowing how to fix flat tires that had preceded very recently to this. Good thing I knew, or it could've been really bad...

May 1, 2026

Our final date before the summer. A custom-made vase by Anna, paper flowers color-coded for emotional regulation, Penne Alla Vodka with no cream, Greenville polaroids, and a Taco Bell parking lot. 

May 2, 2026

Breakfast together! Wow, we must've woken up early. IHOP was fire, you paid for some reason, and I was devastated to drop you off. I got to see you right before you left, but it didn't ease my heart about how hard long-distance would be.

May 2026

I've decided to separate the summer into the three distinct months that took place, as these summer months are described by writing on September 14. May is easy to describe: very light-hearted. We talked very little to start, then slowly ramped up as we planned to see each other at the start of June. Infrequent texts became infrequent calls, which became frequent calls, which became daily calls. And I made fun of you for 'dependency' that I enjoyed greatly.

June 2026

My first visit to Minnesota was wonderful. The drive was long, but I got to talk to you, Calvin, and Piper for an hour towards the end, which made it so much easier to keep pushing when I got tired. Your parents were wonderful, even if I didn't get to talk much to J. Nelly following his impromptu DeWalt Baltimore work trip, and I got to really meet your family. Siblings, grandparents, and all. Between your grandpa falling off the boat, talking to your mom about her estranged family, hanging out with Calvin and your friends in Excelsior, establishing Tommy as the GOAT, and failing miserably to transport Raspberry Dark Chocolate ice cream, I remember every part of this trip fondly. I had a wonderful time. When I got back home, everything was good and we started talking more and more.

June 2026 Sidenotes

I don't know if you'll ever read this, I don't know if you even remember this site exists. But I started doing a hundred things after this trip to try to push our relationship towards better places, even if subtle and even if I didn't mention them. I really wanted us to work.

July 2026

Second trip to Minnesota also went amazingly. The conversation we had after built... doubt. Even though there was no reason for doubt to be instilled, since we were very openly and clearly communicating with one another, doubt still crept in and did so forcibly. I don't like how that happened. I got extremely close with your siblings over this trip, which is probably why Calvin and I still text occasionally. 

I think because of that doubt, we both went onto our separate anxieties and let them fester. While mine resolved, yours didn't, whether or not it had to do with this post-trip doubt. I think right around this time is when we started hurting each other because of the distance instead of growing through it.

Right after I visited Minnesota, I started a second job. Although I loved my serving job, it depleted any energy I had and Mason started trying to claim more and more of the free time that I did have left, which meant I had to be more intentional about making time for you. So I was. But as we both grew increasingly tired, we started slipping. I started getting weary, jealous, and even mad, while you, of your own admission, also acted without full emotional regulation due to tiredness.

I don't like that our relationship was judged on that tiredness. This was not a one-person issue, and maybe that testifies to the eventual breakup regardless, but it also wasn't a one-person solution. Both of us could've been better.

August 2026

I don't like a single thing about August in retrospect. Every indicator I got was that you were extremely excited to see me when I got back to school. I badly wanted to skip my cousin's wedding to be back a week early for RUF MT, which didn't come to fruition. I got nervous about our relationship because I was being treated poorly at the end of the summer, but I didn't want to judge you off that. I wanted to give us a chance. I realize in hindsight I wasn’t treating you well either.

I'm still willing.

And if you read this far, you're holding onto something. Maybe another chance isn't for us. But talk to me, Juli. I miss your family. I miss your faith. I miss you. There’s a part of me that wants to believe this is all a misunderstanding, and even if I’m wrong, I want to understand anyways.

The pictures are still uploading and so is my bible plan. Both are part of the original purpose and timeline of this website. Maybe this is strange. Maybe, it’s closure.

April 19, 2026

I have a huge regret from this Sunday. I stumbled upon an abandoned house, and using the same legal logic as those who explore abandoned buildings, I went in and grabbed a few ‘souvenirs.’ I justified it on a legal basis, but it ate me alive. I have since gathered everything up and am planning a date to return all items I have from here to the front porch of the house. As Solomon speaks in Proverbs 10:2, “Treasures gained from wickedness do not profit.”

I hate that I did this. I speak of it frequently, not because it is an action of which I am prideful in, but in stating the importance of truly victimless crimes and the constant battle with morality. This was immoral and I will never do anything like it again.

When I have returned these items, a picture will accompany this paragraph with a box on the front porch of this house. Even if you never see it, even if you never care, this is a guilt I carry with me.